Punch a Minnesotan Day

Transplanted to hell?  Tired of dealing with the boorish behaviors exhibited by Minnesotans? Well then, join me for PUNCH-A-MINNESOTAN DAY 2011. 

Now, of course I don't mean that we will literally punch a Minnesotan, that wouldn't be "nice."  (Unless, of course, they're asking for it.  But of course, that means, they would have to ask for it, which isn't something that Minnesotans know how to say without resorting to their passive-aggressive standbys of:  hanging up on you, giving you the silent treatment, talk to you while looking down...You get the drift.  I guess I'm digressing, I guess?)

So how does one punch a Minnesotan without resorting to violence?

Here are some suggestions:

-Tailgaiting them
-Saying you're welcome to a Target cashier before he/she even has the chance to not say "thank you" to you
-Bragging about your city
-Ask them about how they really feel about the Somalians and Hmongs here
-Tell them you can't believe they'll never leave here, even to go to the Wisconsin Dells

Again, these are just some suggestions - there are no hard and fast rules.  So join me this Wednesday, July 20, 2011 for Punch a Minnesotan Day!  You'll be glad you did!