Vincent Kartheiser, another smug, bragging, Minnesotan

More bragging, Minnesota-style.  This time, it's one of the few people to leave the state, that smug little twirp Vinnie Kartheiser of Mad Men fame. *Note:  he's also a smug little twirp on the show.   (These are some snippets from some interview he gave here locally on TV in March).

“Because if you’re from Minnesota, you get used to running into people from Minnesota — at least in our industry, you do. All of my friends out here, except a few, are from Minnesota.

There it is.  Even when you Minnesotans leave home, all you do is flock to one another.

"You know, in the music industry, there’s a lot of Minnesotans,” he said.

More bragging.  Why not just say "you know, in Minnesota, existence came to exist.  Along with Music.  And space travel."

“You asked me why I love Minnesota and I think we just create doers."

Like the Twins?  Sorry, I couldn't resist.  But seriously, you think I make this shit up?  Well, here it is, in print.  "Minnesotans are a doing bunch."

"We kind of have a community of people who like to get off their asses and go do stuff. I don’t know if that’s only because there’s, like, three months of the year that you can get off your ass and actually do something? It’s like, ‘Oh my gosh, we can leave the house!’”

A little redundant, I know, but I wanted to include the "oh my gosh."  This is the Gopher Gold where stereotypes come from.  Yes, you, the "most-educated folk" in the nation are nothing more than a bunch of yokels.

“Many, many people I know from Minnesota have great careers out here and I’m constantly running into people from Minnesota. So, I wasn’t surprised and I’m never really surprised. I think it might also have something to do with the fact that we breed a lot and we tend to leave Minnesota, too,” he continued.

Wrong.  Some of you tend to leave Minnesota.  But very few of you do.  In fact, the statistics I've seen suggest that 93% of the people who live in Minnesota stay in Minnesota, so, you're not exactly exporting yourselves like toys from China.  It's also worth noting that for the most "educated state" in the union, your wages aren't competitive with other metropolitan areas.  And just because you have so many colleges doesn't mean that the schools are good, or even competitive outside of Minnesota.  Maybe you have too many colleges, thereby cheapening the value of the college degree? 

Food for thought...

Happy Punch a Minnesotan Day!

The shutdown is over.  The heat index is supposed to read 119.  And you, dear transplant, must fulfill your civic duty of going out and annoying as many Minnesotans as you can today!

Punch a Minnesotan Day

Transplanted to hell?  Tired of dealing with the boorish behaviors exhibited by Minnesotans? Well then, join me for PUNCH-A-MINNESOTAN DAY 2011. 

Now, of course I don't mean that we will literally punch a Minnesotan, that wouldn't be "nice."  (Unless, of course, they're asking for it.  But of course, that means, they would have to ask for it, which isn't something that Minnesotans know how to say without resorting to their passive-aggressive standbys of:  hanging up on you, giving you the silent treatment, talk to you while looking down...You get the drift.  I guess I'm digressing, I guess?)

So how does one punch a Minnesotan without resorting to violence?

Here are some suggestions:

-Tailgaiting them
-Saying you're welcome to a Target cashier before he/she even has the chance to not say "thank you" to you
-Bragging about your city
-Ask them about how they really feel about the Somalians and Hmongs here
-Tell them you can't believe they'll never leave here, even to go to the Wisconsin Dells

Again, these are just some suggestions - there are no hard and fast rules.  So join me this Wednesday, July 20, 2011 for Punch a Minnesotan Day!  You'll be glad you did!

Ask any Minnesotan and they will tell you that this is "The Greatest State in the Union"

Whether you're scrolling through Citypages, reading through what passes for culture in VitaMN, or browsing comments on the ST messageboards, Minnesotans sure love to brag about their fine state.

"We Minnesotans" is the most common thing you will ever hear out of one of these galoots.  (Oh, Gosh, I must be here too long if things like "galoot" are working their way into my vernacular).  Anyway, most (but not all) Minnesotans are a bragging bunch.  They brag about being the birthplace of Target, Best Buy, 3M, Garrison Keilor, Caribou Coffee and the like. 

Unfortunately, if you were to listen to a Minnesotan for more than a day - as I do every day - you might think that Minnesota invented:

-Modern Sport
-Cures for each and every disease that has killed a man, woman or child since Ganghis Kahn
-The notion that the world is round
-The Atom Bomb
-The elbow straw
-Video tele-conferencing

Truth is, Minnesota has made some contributions to the World at large, but none of us outsiders need to hear about it every stinking minute of the day.  You know the saying, "act like you been there before?"  Kind of applies in this instance, dontchaknow? 

I swear, after hearing all of your drivel, I feel like I'm in a frathouse talking to that guy who brags about being able to suck his own dork.  The novelty has long since worn off, and in the end, I'm trapped in this room with a man who can't really see that fellating his own peni really ain't that cool.  Then again, your techniques for fellating thyself bring new meaning to the phrase "Minnesotans suck."